快乐与痛苦是连体婴，背对背，谁也少不了谁，是名副其实的‘痛快’i love this quote. no idea.. im weird i guess (: but who's normal anyway.. we all are living in a quirky world anyway ((:
i was writing a letter to huay yesterday using a white pen against a black paper.. when i thought of these words, i think i must heard of it somewhere or what: 'the purity of white is the most obvious in the darkest of the black[night]'
well.. i guess this can be applied to any area in life? i mean only when we are facing trouble or problem, only then you'll realised your true strength. only then, you'll know your limit.
i wonder what's my limit. i always find myself sort of competitive in a way.. if i know i can do it, i would try my best.. but when it was forced upon me, i know i would most probably will not give it my best. unwillingness, pouting etc.
im back at square one you see.. at the crossroads.. where to go? family wanted me to go to the best, saying they know i could handle it, the pressure, the homework, the expectation. did they ask how i feel? i wanted to go to that school. but no they say, with your results, you can do so much better. this is my life. let me do what i want with it. i know im not destroying my own life. im not that stupid.
i guess im a coward in a way.. im an average girl, average student, average daughter, average sister. i dont ask for more, just let me make my own decision. let me learn from my mistakes. you cant possibly protect me al my life. but still, i dont dare to rebuff them. i walk along the path they'd cleared for me. and follow their wish. im such a failure.
studying is my only forte. the only world im sure i will at least do okay in. haii.. im a nerd okay. haha.. guai kia^^ anyway, there's work today.. suddenly feel lazy going to work. haii.. i dont want to do cocktail.. what if i drop the tray again? man........... im working just for the money this time.. how pathetic. whatever.
